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Building relationships with your future self

Published: 26/01/2022
Agnieszka Pawłowska
Psychologist, certified Mindfulness and Compassion teacher.

Date of the last update: 26.01.2022

When thinking about our own lives, we tend to focus on the past. We return with memories of our roots, our experiences and the people who shaped us. Indeed, past experiences have a considerable impact on all of us. Still, it is worthwhile to orient ourselves towards the future. Of course, people have their plans and dreams. Few people, however, try to establish an honest relationship with their future self.

Table of Contents:

  1. Why is it worth establishing a relationship with your future self?
  2. How build a relationship with your future self?
  3. Summary

You can read this article in 3 minutes.

Why is it worth establishing a relationship with your future self?

There are many reasons to try to establish a relationship with your future self. It may seem a bit ridiculous at first. No one can predict the future or what changes you will undergo. On the other hand, each person chooses their paths of development and directs their own life. Building a relationship with yourself from the future is a way to see your life from a broader perspective and to re-evaluate current priorities and plans. It helps you set goals for yourself and gain a deeper understanding of what really matters. Finally, it’s a way to remember that life is a process and “everything flows” in some direction. Although prospection involves an awareness that life is fragile and time passes inevitably, it can also bring hope for growth, success and the fulfilment of dreams.

How build a relationship with your future self?

When thinking about the future, it helps to focus on yourself and your state of mind rather than on where you live, the money you have accumulated in your account and your professional successes. The relationship should be intimate and personal – the idea is to see yourself at a different point in your life, having experiences and thoughts that are not available at this moment. How do you build a relationship with your future self?

  • Write a letter. It is worth writing a letter to yourself in the future. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to keep it in a drawer for 5, 10 or 20 years. The writing process itself will indeed trigger several emotions and reflections. It will make the “ future me” more real. What is worth saying to yourself, what is worth wishing for, what is worth sharing? These are very good questions. For sure, reading this letter years later will be an equally important and emotional experience.
  • Visualise. Everyone has some plans and dreams. Try to imagine your future from time to time. Most people will focus on goals that have already been achieved, such as a built house, financial stability, or many children. This exercise can make you realise what is important and mobilise you to work. In addition, try to get into your future self’s shoes – try to imagine your own thoughts, feelings and the desired state of mind.
  • Make a wishing list. People wish each other different things on all sorts of occasions. It’s a good thing to apply this custom to oneself. For example, you could reflect on what you currently lack and wish it for the future. You may also realise what you currently appreciate and hope to be able to enjoy it for as long as possible. The key thing is to think of yourself as someone close and important who deserves the best.
  • Put yourself in a position to develop yourself. There is a time gap between yourself from the present and the future, as well as a gap in experience and knowledge. If you focus on development and constantly improve yourself, you are naturally closer to your future self. You realise that you are investing in yourself and striving to become a better and happier person. So stay aware in this process and look for your ways to grow.

Check out also: How to start your day by deeply connecting with yourself


Although living “here-and-now” is very important, people still make many decisions keeping their future in mind. Defining your own meaning of life can be challenging, but conscious development and the process of spiritual maturation helps you to find it. Thus, it is worth thinking not only about your origins and where you came from. It is equally important to know what you are striving for and how you would like to feel in the future. Building a relationship with your own “self” from the future thus helps to develop a deeper understanding of your own choices and needs.

Explore more: Being closer to yourself. How to establish a relationship with your own body?


Cole S., Imagining our future… and changing it, [in:] The Psychologist [online]. Available online: https://www/ (09.02.2021).

Allen S., How Thinking About the Future Makes Life More Meaningful, [in:] Greater Good Magazine [online]. Available online: (09.02.2021).

Agnieszka Pawłowska
Psychologist, certified Mindfulness and Compassion teacher. She has been practising mindfulness for over 10 years and is one of Poland's first certified Mindfulness teachers (MBSR - Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction). She is also a certified Compassion (MBCL - Mindfulness-Based Compassionate Living) teacher and supervisor.